your voice

It amazes me yet
how defiantly this life
craves ever my attention.

Why me? When all
is said and needfully done,
why should I still be?

I have known lives
far better than my own
much more deserving.

With each passing day
the distance grows into
a petty persistent growl.

Another day, another year
as time selfishly scratches
across my aching skin.

Why me? Why drag
this fading soul through
angry scaly days to come?

I long…

for the noisy distance to end,
for time to bid sweet reprieve,
to hold, be held, be known—

to hear you with my skin.

your heart

have you heard
how your heart beats
have you felt its insistence
felt its persistent pleading
trembling the needing flesh
you press against me

there is a voice
i more than hearing feel
peeling back the layers
of aging bark blanketing
the tallest trees rising
over the Santa Cruz mountains

there is a voice
that shimmering hums
strumming the seeding vines
the sweetly tumbling lines
of coolest winter snow
urgently flowing in the spring

there is a voice
deep in the knowing earth
that growing celebrates hope
and hearth and ever home
and never dares abandon
the fervent heart of you

that even now beats
across the breathing
of my skin

voice in the distance

when first i heard
the voice in the distance
i felt the edges of time
drawing swiftly near

my veinèd hand trembled
as if my very heart
had been exposed at once
to the light of the moon

and each heavenly star
swaying above sang sweetly
a chorus composing
the truest harmony

the walls encircling me
abandoned their pretence
and revealed a lush garden
of lilac and sycamore

and through the verdant trees
the flute and the whistle
beckoned the eager fiddle
to join in the dance

when first i heard
the voice in the distance
i knew my timid life
would never be the same

again

Salt Lake City 28 Jan 2013

echoes

do you hear yourself
how your voice echoes
through closed doors
and thickly stuccoed walls
and proudly pagan flesh
aching particles of hope
and sensual suffering
so unbearably intimate
as to precisely pierce
with poignant accuracy
a naïve lover’s heart
like an arrow sharpened
by divine Diana herself
still furious at Acteon’s
unfortunate vision

Salt Lake City 29 Dec 2012

i am yours

forgive this desperate soul
raging in the darkness
howling feral at the moon
it must surely adore

forgive this quaking voice
murmuring mirthless groans
stuttering groundless fears
it should never proclaim

without your touch to define me
i grow shapeless, dwelling in obscurity

without your voice to guide me
i wander aimless these salted tracts

for you see
i am yours
and in so being
am i fulfilled

Salt Lake City 03 Sep 2012

Voice

As some of you know, I am an English teacher. And perhaps because I spend so much of my life – personal and professional – focused on language, on words, there are times when all I really want is peace. Stillness. Most particularly, to silence my own voice and listen to others. Or to nothing at all but the sounds of nature. Or a beautiful piece of music.

It may seem self-pitying, but the fact remains that I have known times in my life when I have come to loathe my own voice and the words it imparts. Or at the very least, to despise how meager their effect has been upon the world around me. For those of us who devote so much time and hope to expressing ourselves through language, it can be quite depressing to feel that no one is listening.

Recently I found something I thought I had lost – that other voice. The one that does not always accompany me. The one I write with. I know that some of you have become, let us say, reacquainted with your own voices. Or even newly acquainted. And I applaud you all for that, for finding the courage to express yourselves quite publicly. Which is tantamount to taking a great risk indeed for some. Particularly when we begin this journey with so little familiarity with the often anonymous members of this community.

I have been more fortunate than I can say to have discovered the finest, the most beautiful source of inspiration in my journey here. Within these very pages. And while I introduce this particular post with just these many words, I wish to show my gratitude to her, my beloved, and to you all with the following piece of wordless music from a group whose musical voice I adore. I hope you enjoy.