i am far away from you again, you see
oceans and lands once more between us
but then, you are even further from me
although still you endure as the years pass
and i see your face in tightly preserved
images that i myself captured of dearest you
in daily pursuits and domestic celebrations
glancing at father, smiling at your sons
cradling my kitten who purred so sweetly
in your whole immaculate embrace
time has done nothing to dull my memory
of these blessed moments of joyful sharing
and precious familial affirmation of what you
always needing, perceived yourself capable of,
what you did strive for seeking to expunge
the dark stamp of shame your own mother
had cruelly impressed on your tender heart,
while you a home composed of simple purity
wherein your darling boys could safely play
and your beloved husband laughter know
i could not offer you the content and cheer
you so richly deserved, my darling mother
opening instead to you a home that had
begun to decay even before love could grow
a dark void in which your gentle voice
echoed horribly on cold constraining walls
never to be heard and adored as it should,
i exposed you to the selfishness of she
who was so very hard and calculating and
incapable of appreciating how you yield
if only we could have one more day together
you and i, that i might seek to enfold you
in nothing so formal or refined, but this:
that you know how much i loved you,
how mildly insistent your guiding touch
the kindling of my heart did brightly light
endowing me with a spirit of hearth
and home that i to this day do nurture
in nourishing compassionate the hopes
and aspirations of those who seek to learn
yet there is something greater, a wonder
more beautiful, more luminous even
than anything i have ever shared with you
in all the years that you watched me grow—
i love at last! and in loving this her
have i discovered finally what life can be
what hope is, and how meaningful yet
this heart that generously you gifted me
this heart that even now sheds warm tears
as i wish you could only have known her
dear mother, known this woman I love
how i wish you could have embraced her
embraced my sweetly spoken beloved
before that day when you had to leave us
Çeşme, Turkey 12 July 2012

My mother, Dora, and my daughter, Asena