confessions of nothingness

in truth was i
eviscerated long before
the priestly incision
that carved my flesh

industrious had i labored
at determined complicity
persistently pleading
for divine justice

my lips never failed
mechanically to mouth
mealy adorations
to ra, to maat, to isis herself

my steps never failed
to guide me armed with offerings
to the polished altar
of my mother’s mastaba

of my neighbors spoke i
never, not once i swear,
an unkind word, nor
denigrated i divinity

my voice dully ordained
have i never raised
in blatant anger nor
caused any man to weep

never did i turn away
from those in need
who knew me only as a man
upon whom they could depend

what remains now
of my desiccated body
rests forever entombed
that i may stand before you

o great god osiris
and confess that never
have i knowingly failed
in any of thy biddings

nonetheless

call forth the beast of hell
to devour my heart
as it sinks on thy scale
for this heaviest of sins—

that i, thy servant
have never known
what it means
to be truly alive

2013.05.28 D.C.Smithsonian 008

An ancient Egyptian mummy in the Smithsonian Museum

maat

i call upon thee
most glorious maat
queen of justice
divinely desired
she who strictly
renders truth through
ages of aguish want

cold your bosom
as i embrace you
warm your loins
angrily birthing
the reptilian regents
of wayward earth and
their amphibian consorts

in fairness commenced
your righteous reign
constraining even
the sovereign of chaos
amorphous conveyor
of utter lunacy
and anguished appetites

yet how could this be
what did possess you
to submit yourself
to the solar fool
who swiftly fled
from your emergence
to herald the dawn

how could you allow
your damnable twin
to spill his semen
throughout the heavens
inflicting his fetid folly
over a needful soul
so heavy with regret

there was a time
when you knew better

oh heartless mistress
of impartial truth

a time before man
ruled the earth

Salt Lake City 27 Mar 2013