after goodbye

i did believe once that when my daughter left
closing the door swiftly behind her
smiling sweetly into her future
smiling beyond me with the naïve
and native brilliance of unspoiled youth
that i, quite simply, ceased to exist

i would drive away listening to whispers
chastising my heart, stupidly sniffling
gripping the wheel, glancing left and right
and remembering to sternly extinguish
such foolish hope before it could do
any more damage to my tattered soul

so convinced was i of my meaninglessness
that i courted sorrow like a committed lover
braving rejection even for the thrice cherished
chance to demonstrate how empty life
had suddenly become, so convinced in fact
that i neglected to see how full my life could be

time sits with me now in eager remonstrance
that i never forget how i too am loved
how the sun rises brisk and boldly beaming
over a world made more fertile and true
by, my darling, you—in whose heart am i
more than just a shadow of my former self

i see the two of you sitting closely together
in the light of day embracing warmth and
laughter with a voracious and enviable appetite
i see my little one follow your words
your very movements, comforted by your smile
encouraged by your wit, and i am enthralled

by the loving heart of you
by the deepening hope of she
and by the knowledge
that we three together
will write this world anew

 

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