7 thoughts on “magus

  1. Hope strings us along and then when deception strikes we want to kick ourselves for daring to believe…

    Sometimes i dislike myself for being foolish — more than i dislike the deceiver…and I cry torrents from the pain I brought on myself.

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    • I know how dreaful this pain can be, T. And how the anger turns inward — as if, somehow, this was my fault. For believing, for hoping. But we have to try, don’t we? Or does that happiness of union, that unique joy that comes from a shared loved — is it only possible when we stop trying? Stop looking? You know, back when I was a college student desperate for an intimate relationship, I remember that very strange semester when I actually did stop looking, and suddenly several different women wanted my attention. And ever since then I have stopped believing that I actually know how this bloody difficult process of falling in love works. The harder I try, it seems, the more likely I am to make an absolute mess of things.

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      • I know that anger all too well. It must be harder for men as they dont allow themselves the release of despair and frustration through tears.

        I wish i knew the answers, my friend. It is not love that is elusive but people — they who make relationships and pure love more complicated than it needs to be. I have learned to live with voids and consider them the holes that only fate will fill.

        Keep your sights filled with faith and never give up on love; you have a wholesome delightful heart that should be shared! šŸ™‚

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      • Oh so true, T. The heart is always ready. Almost always, perhaps. But yes, so ready to love. Its natural expression and way of being. But people, as you say, are elusive. Connections can be so difficult to form. A true companion — one who enlightens and enlivens you — may be so difficult to find. But the heart loves. Thank you, T. Thank you so much for this. For your encouragement and your hope.

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